That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
