Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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