If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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