belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
