if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
