I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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