STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
