When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
