But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
