We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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