So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
