Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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