Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
