If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
