don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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