Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
