so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
