i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
