i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
