Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
