I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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