those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
