who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
