this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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