Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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