She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
