puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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