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holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
