Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
