party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Randomize
