he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
