I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
