they need to just BURY HIM!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have aggressive nipples.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
