Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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