I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
