I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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