Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
