He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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