Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
