omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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