I'm lost and stupid without you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
