At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
