you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
