some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
