...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
