No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
