He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
