just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
