im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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