you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
