haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
