I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
