Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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